Ordo Amoris
The Pharisees were always trying to trap Jesus. But just when they thought they had Him, Jesus proved to have the upper hand. In Matthew 22:36 we read that a lawyer came and asked Jesus, “What is the greatest commandment of the Law?” In other words, of all that God revealed to Moses, could it be distilled down to one commandment? Jesus’ answered by telling them that they must properly order their loves.
“And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.’” — Matthew 22:37-40
There are two commandments and we must keep them in the proper order: we love God then we love neighbor. Keep God first and care for your neighbor second. This reflects the order of the Ten Commandments where the first four address our vertical relationship with God and the last six our relationship with neighbor. God ought to have the supreme place of love in our life; He is the One we were created to love.
But “who is my neighbor?” This was another question asked by a lawyer to justify Himself (Luke 10:29). Jesus answers the question with a classic parable about a priest, a Levite, and a Samaritan who all came into contact with a man in need. The point of the parable is that everyone is our neighbor and we ought to love and serve them when they are in need.
But we take on an impossible weight if we think we bear equal responsibility for the needs of every person on the face of the earth. That is simply too great a burden to carry! Consider in the parable that neither the citizens of Jerusalem nor Jericho were condemned for the man who was in transit between them. Robberies and brutality were harsh realities throughout the world in the first century as they are today. What made the priest, the Levite, and the Samaritan responsible was their proximity to the one in need. Proximity must order our love.
Jesus Himself modeled this. As He was dying on the cross, He made sure His mother was given to a caretaker, the apostle John (John 19:26-27). Jesus didn't give a caregiver to every widow in Jerusalem. He cared for His own mother. He modeled the later command of the apostle Paul, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8). Jesus knew that in order to be the best neighbor we must consider our relational proximity.
Jesus modeled this with His disciples. While Jesus had great compassion on the crowds (Matthew 9:36), He shared a unique love for the disciples displayed in their intimate life together (consider John 13-17). Jesus taught the crowds but gave unique insights to His disciples (Matthew 13:10-17). Jesus understood the ordered love which Paul wrote about to the church in Galatia, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith” (Galatians 6:10). Do good to all, especially those who share our common Savior and with whom we share a faith family. Proximity matters.
Finally, Jesus displayed ordered love as He wept over the death of Lazarus in preparation of his coming resuscitation from the dead. Jesus did not raise everyone who died in Jerusalem. He loved His friend whom He shared life with and whom He was in close fellowship with. Jesus had earlier commended the faith of friends who did whatever it took to get their paralytic friend to Jesus, even if it meant they damaged a roof and cut in line (Mark 2:5)!
No matter how unpopular it may be to hear, we all order our loves. Because while we are called to serve everyone we neighbors, we cannot possibly serve everyone equally. We were not meant to carry the burdens of the entire world alone. But like the man on the road, we must consider the proximity of who is in front of us. We must order our loves according to God's Word.
St. Augustine summed up this idea succinctly when he wrote, “Further, all men are to be loved equally. But since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special regard to those who, by the accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you” (On Christian Doctrine, Book 1, Chapter 28). May the God of everlasting love order our finite love by His eternal Word.